Is your household ballot “one flesh”?

Posted: 29th October 2008 by ElShaddai Edwards in Uncategorized

Just a quick question for those who are married (or hope to be at some point)… how united are you and your spouse when it comes time to vote in a political election? Are you truly “one flesh” and vote together across the ballot, or do you retain an individual sense of preference, even if your respective candidates are fundamentally opposed to each other?

While I am generally apolitical in all things, my default philosophies lean me toward one party. However, I’ve been less than impressed with their campaign and candidates this time around. My wife is firmly voting for the other party down the ballot. Is it better to stay with my personal and historical traditions despite my distaste for the specific candidate in this election, or to maintain marital unity with my wife and vote against my default inclinations?

  1. greg says:

    This is an interesting question:

    Are you truly โ€œone fleshโ€ and vote together across the ballot, or do you retain an individual sense of preference, even if your respective candidates are fundamentally opposed to each other?

    It might be hard to find candidates in this election in the major parties who are fundamentally opposed to each other, as much as they might like to characterize themselves, or the media for that matter. There are differences on certain stances, but I don’t know, in doing research of my own and then hearing the rhetoric from each camp is just seems to not be as different as we’re led to believe.

    But all that aside, does “one flesh” mean married couples will agree on everything? As much as we would not like to agree with this, politics is more subjective than objective. I’m really just asking another question, I guess, but I feel that if my wife wants to vote for one candidate and I vote for another, we can do that and still be just as united as man and wife as if we both voted for the same. That’s probably because of my presupposition that politics is more subjective than objective, and especially the voting aspect.

    So the short answer: don’t vote for a party, vote for the candidate. In my view, voting your party while not liking the candidate enables that party to not pick a better candidate. It’s always the lesser of two evils.

    And I guess that allows you to be one flesh ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Thanks for the reply, Greg. I agree that it’s unrealistic to expect that married couples will agree on everything – certainly my wife and I do not, though we try to come to one voice on the big things: kids, church, work, house, budget, etc.

    The question is whether politics is on the same level as those things for a Christian marriage, or whether we agree that no matter the government, God will accomplish what he intends. That’s probably the more realistic point of unity.

    So the short answer: donโ€™t vote for a party, vote for the candidate.

    That actually makes it harder to decide…

  3. ElShaddai, my wife and I have always voted the same. Although this time around I have been considering voting against my party. I have bounced back and forth, overall I am just dissatisfied with both candidates.

  4. Robert, if you end up voting against your party, will your wife do so as well?

  5. Think of it this way, ElShaddai.

    If the candidate you vote for against your will and only for solidarity with your wife causes problems that your grandchildren reap the consequences for, what are you going to tell them? “Yeah, you’re screwed, but at least your grandmother and I were in agreement on it.”

    Somewhat tongue-in-cheek here. But come on, as the head of household, aren’t you supposed to make her vote your way? (majorly just kidding here)

    My wife and I are mostly on the same page politically: we’re both against legal plunder (a.k.a. socialism, in greater and lesser degrees represented in both majority parties nowadays). We might not be in agreement on which anti-big-government candidate is the best on other grounds, but I count it a blessing we’re together as far as we are.

  6. My wife and I are in agreement nearly 100% of the time. The only issue that I recall where we voted differently was a few years ago when Florida banned smoking in restaurants. I voted against it and for the rights of business owners. My wife apparently thinks she has a right to enjoy a meal regardless of whether or not the business owner is able to run his business as he sees fit. Oh, well.

  7. Dave says:

    I think I would echo Steve and Greg’s comments. For my wife and I, however, I think we are only possibly voting differently on one local school levy issue. Since she is a teacher at that school, and I am pretty much opposed to state run schools, we tend to disagree from time to time! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. Nathan Stitt says:

    I’m voting for Obama. My wife is undecided. It won’t affect our marriage one bit if she votes for McCain, though I will probably think a little less of her ๐Ÿ˜‰ Well maybe not, I don’t know.

  9. Wayne Leman says:

    Well, FWIW, I don’t think being of “one flesh” is the same as being of “one mind.” And I’m not even sure that being of one mind means that there aren’t differences of opinion. I think it’s wonderful when brethren (and sisterns?!) dwell together in unity. The Bible says so too. But I don’t think it says we need to have the same opinions. My wife and I try to live as one flesh, but we have sometimes split our votes. I think that’s just fine.

  10. Thank you for that insight, Wayne – my wife and I are opposites in almost every way, so it’s no surprise that we come from different political backgrounds…

    I think itโ€™s wonderful when brethren (and sisterns?!) dwell together in unity.

    As long as it’s not cisterns… ๐Ÿ˜‰