“the name of almighty God expressed by the Hebrew Tetragrammaton and rendered in Latin by the word Dominus, is to be rendered into any given vernacular by a word equivalent in meaning.”

At the risk of being flippant, and with an extra helping of humility before our Creator, I wonder if I should continue to go by “ElShaddai” or if I should switch to the words equivalent in meaning, “God Almighty”.

HT: Greg Willson (click for more photos and video)

• El Shaddai Ministries

At least that’s more on target than the “ElShaddai Limousine Service” in West Warick, Rhode Island or “ElShaddai Florist” in Bermuda…

Happily, I read on Biltz’s site that he is not caught up in “rapture fever”:

It’s not even on my radar! I’m not focused on it, I am focused on the mission at hand. I will work till Messiah comes. Believe me He will take whoever He wants to take, whenever He wants to take them and no one will lose points for being wrong. If your house is on fire and you escape are you satisfied that you are out or will you do all you can to get your children out as well? With any fire there are people rushing out and firemen rushing in. I guess it depends on what you feel you’re calling is. I don’t remember who, but someone said (and now in a popular song):

“Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell;
but I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell!”

That is my motto. If the Lord wants to keep me here during the tribulation on a mission run, I’m happy to stay. If He wants me out, then I’m happy to go! It’s not my will or rapture theology that will take me or leave me but His will.

For more on Biltz’s comments on the reception of his eclipse commentary, click here.

• Wheat flour is the foundation of the vast majority of breads; likewise the RSV has spawned many of today’s most popular translations, either through revision (NRSV, ESV) or reaction (NASB, NIV).
• The ubitiquious NIV gathers the (dis)honor of being the white bread of translations. Bland and undistinctive, it is filling, but unmemorable except for what toppings you add to it.
• The sour tang of sourdough bread certainly mirrors that inevitable reaction most people have to the KJV… expecting a definitive English Bible, but unable to comprehend its masterful subtleties. Like the venerable sourdough starter ball, the KJV has been used over and over and over again by countless generations of Breadeaters.
• The long slow baking time of pumpernickel bread results in its characteristic dark color and distinctive taste. The result of combining sourdough and rye flour, pumpernickel perhaps finds its Biblical equivalent in the sophisticated NEB/REB.
• Any translation with origins in the American South, like the HCSB, surely must be represented by cornmeal bread, preferably cooked on cast iron.
• Is it any surprise that the Jerusalem Bible and the later NJB should resemble a French baguette?
• The NASB’s fortunes seem to have been dwindling lately, but as the most literal translation in standard English, it has ahold of a niche market that could last forever. As such, it is most fairly the equivalent of Pilot bread, more commonly known as sailors’ hardtack. One must be sure to supplement the NASB with a more colorful translation, otherwise scurvy is sure to result.
• The LXX (Septuagint) was the original translation of the Hebrew OT texts into Greek for the Hellenized Jews. What then would be a better bread to represent the LXX than pita bread?
• And finally, as an English translation of only the Hebrew texts, the NJPS Tanakh translation earns the honor of being a matza cracker!

A ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert-like island.

The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island. The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man’s parcel of land remained barren.

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, another ship wrecked nearby, and the only survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the island. On the other side of the island, there was nothing.

Eventually the first man decided to pray for clothes and more food. The next day, all of these were given to him as the belongings from yet another shipwreck were washed ashore. However, the second man still had nothing.

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found that overnight a ship had anchored on his side of the island.

The first man was welcomed aboard the ship along with his wife and he decided to say nothing of the other man, but instead leave him on the island. He considered the other man unworthy to receive God’s blessings since obviously none of his prayers had been answered…

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a Voice booming, “Why are you leaving your companion on the island?”

“My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them,” the first man answered. “His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything.”

“You are gravely mistaken!” the Voice rebuked him. “He had only one prayer, and I answered it. If it were not for his prayers, you would not have received any of MY blessings.”

“Tell me,” the first man asked, “what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?”

“He prayed that all your prayers would be answered.”

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to, after the worship service, ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

“Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

With great emphasis he said,
“If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.”

With even greater emphasis he said,
“And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.”

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said,
“And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.”

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile,
“For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365,
“Shall We Gather at the River.”

HT: Trumpetmikey

A road will be there and a way;
it will be called the Holy Way.
The unclean will not travel on it,
but it will be for him who walks the path.
Even the fool will not go astray. (HCSB)

Get it? Isaiah 35… Interstate 35. Sigh. I live in Burnsville, Minnesota, which presents special problems to this interpretation, because not more than a couple of miles from my house, Interstate 35 actually splits into two separate highways: 35W (which I take daily to work in downtown Minneapolis) and 35E (which goes through downtown St. Paul, and passes closest to my house). The two join back together north of the Minneapolis/St Paul metro area, becoming just Interstate 35 again.

Let’s say that Interstate 35 is going to be Jesus’ runway when he comes bursting out of the clouds on his big white horse… which 35 should I be camping out at? 35E or 35W? Or should I go down to the split and wait to see which way he goes? I’m starting to feel a little like Linus in the pumpkin patch - which interstate is the most sincere? Which way will he go? What if I choose incorrectly?

They’re doing a lot of road construction on 35W right now. First, rebuilding the river bridge that collapsed this summer. Also, they’re untangling the freeway from where it’s been merged with a different highway, causing predictable congestion and delay. Surely this roadwork can now be viewed as divinely ordained, right?

At least I have a few years to decide, as the 35W construction won’t be done until 2010 or something like that and Jesus wouldn’t come before they’re done, right? But what if he goes on 35E…

“What majestic trees!”

“What powerful rivers!”

“What beautiful animals!”

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 9-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”

Time Stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. “You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.” “Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?”

“Very well,” said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

“Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.”

The Anchorage Daily News reported last month about a local moose who tangled his antlers in strands of Christmas lights and got buzzed on fermented crab apples after wandering through downtown Anchorage…